i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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