Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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