the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize