She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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