He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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