Whod you bang
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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