Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
