PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
