i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
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Do I have a choice?
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So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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