She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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