Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
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So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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