Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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