i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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