i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize