I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
