She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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