Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
