im having a threesome with these popsicles
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
