btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Found the puke drawer
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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