Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
