there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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