He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
