My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night