She is in my trunk
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
