Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Sex in the backyard? Check.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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