I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
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4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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