You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Randomize
