Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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