uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
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question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
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I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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