I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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