I think my vagina is haunted
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
