i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
