the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I'd cum for enchiladas.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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