Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
