I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
