You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Randomize
