It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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