I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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