so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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