i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
