I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
you inspire me to be a worse person
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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