You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
