I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
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She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
My breasts were aching with rage.
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I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...