last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
