"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
