At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize