She's like a pop up book from hell.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
