dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
