she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
