a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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