If that was your dad, he is hot
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize