um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
