Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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