just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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