what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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