$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Randomize
