we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
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