If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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