My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
