it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
its liver damage thursday
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
